Listen.
I’ve long relegated Kanye West to the “funny, weird cousin” position in my life, so witnessing him pop out of a mental health sabbatical to meet with Trump was absolutely hilarious to me, and I mean that in the worst way possible.
What did they talk about? Kanye says “life,” so I can safely assume they dyed each other’s hair strawberry blonde and talked about how hot their wives are. And it sounds like they maybe talked about politics too? Kanye did mention “discussing multicultural issues” and has bumped his own presidential bid to 2024, possibly to make room for a Trump second term, so who knows?
I cannot lie, I prayed to Jared Leto Jesus that Trump would hold a press conference announcing that Kanye West was named Secretary of State instead of Rex Tillerson of Exxon Mobil because that’s the time we live in right now. I’d much rather see Kanye West banging his fist on President Xi Jinping’s desk, ranting about how Jay Z doesn’t let him bring North West over to chill with Blue Ivy anymore, than witness any continuance of the Great Oil Wars. But alas, Trump only appoints people of color to positions with the word “urban” in their title, so . . .
To be clear, I don’t really like to pick on Kanye. He’s enigmatic at best, and often serves as a panic button that we can push whenever we want to witness progressive white people’s underlying racism burst from their chests like aliens. Yet, there is something to be said about Kanye’s constant striving for white validation. When he famously exclaimed that “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people,” many assumed that Kanye would advocate for the disenfranchised — but as the years went by, it seemed he only wanted to advocate for himself. From wearing blue eye contacts, to that nasally drawl he performs in that’s been called his “white voice,” West’s quest for whiteness has seemed at the very least time-consuming, and at the very most enslaving.
Kanye’s choice of women has always demonstrated his absolute yearning to gain proximity to whiteness. His famous “leave your ass for a white girl” lyric from his hit song “Gold Digger” seemed more like a self-fulfilling prophecy than anything; in his pre-fame days, he shared KFC buffets and financial burdens with Black women like Sumeke Rainey and Alexis Phifer, then entered a highly publicized relationship with the racially ambiguous Amber Rose, and now is married to Kim Kardashian, whom he constantly praises for having her own money (which is coded misogynoir and classist language) while objectifying her “black-but-not-black” curves by referring to her as the “hottest woman in the game.”
Even his statements on race are emotional whiplash, often cued by how nicely white people have treated him that week. Remember when he claimed that the fashion world was racist and then later, after getting his fashion line, claimed racism was a dated concept and the real issue was classism?
Regardless, my outrage over the Kanye-Trump meeting has less to do with Kanye meeting Trump and more to do with Trump meeting Kanye. Since his time as president-elect, Donald J. Trump has continuously flounced about, basking in his superstar status, doing everything, it seems, except getting ready to be the next president of the United States. Trump has gone down in history as the president-elect to have taken the least amount of intelligence briefings. External security at Trump Tower, where the First Lady and his child are going to stay — because why the heck would anyone want to leave a gold-laced tower in the Manhattan sky? — is costing taxpayers a cool million a day. Oh, and the best part is that much of that money just goes back into Trump’s pockets, since secret service will be renting out floor space.
His cabinet picks have been plain nonsensical, beginning with Pence, whom Trump elevated to the ticket in the midst of the constituents of Indiana petitioning for the governor to be fired. We all cringed at Trump’s appointment of anti-semite and white nationalist Steve Bannon to his senior council . . . and since then, Trump has managed to outdo himself at every turn. Trump’s secretary of state is the CEO of a gas juggernaut with close ties to Russia. His energy secretary, Rick Perry, once proposed eliminating the Energy Department. His nomination for the economic council, Gary Cohn, is the president of Goldman Sachs. His administrator of small business is Linda McMahon from the WWE, the absolute antithesis of a small business. Need I go on?
Trump is openly Twitter-beefing with anyone he can (with the exception of Suge Knight, probably the ONE person we all wish he’d Twitter-beef with). He constantly tweets about SNL’s portrayal of him, instead of, you know, figuring out how to be president. He constantly pokes at China, as in the extremely rich country that holds the USA’s debt, to the point that Chinese officials are holding actual press conferences about the putrid cacophony that comes out of his mouth.
And the freaking CIA! The CIA came out with a report confirming that Trump’s good friend, Putin (whose girlfriend vacations with Ivanka Trump?!), intervened with the election. A spokesperson for the CIA even claimed that Trump’s actions since becoming president-elect has everyone at the Kremlin smiling, to which Trump has responded by calling the CIA a bunch of conspiracy theorists, thus agreeing with Dmitry Peskov, the press secretary for Vladimir Putin, who went on record to claim that the report was “unfounded, unprofessional, and unqualified.”
I mean good god! This is a Confederacy of Dunces, if I’ve ever seen one. And I haven’t even touched upon Trump’s blatant racism, misogyny, and clear parallels to the rise of Hitler.
Kanye West running around Kanye Westing is the absolute least of our problems when we’ve got genocide in Aleppo, Syria, an angry superpower named China giving us the side eye, economic turmoil, and broken down race relations. The next leader of our fragile country has done more than enough to prove to us all that he does not care about the USA, let alone the people in it. Trump’s plan is to make as much money as he can before he gets impeached or lands us in a war (which are quite lucrative, if you did not know), and hell, maybe that’s why Kanye met with him, to figure out if he should buy that villa in Thailand.
Who knows? Who cares? It doesn’t matter.
What matters is that December 19th is when the electoral college meets, and according to the Federalist Papers: №68, if a foreign entity interferes with the USA elections, it is the electors’ duty to abstain from voting. If you live in a red state that is pledged to Trump, find out who your electors are, and ask them to abstain from voting come December 19th on the grounds that the CIA concluded that our democracy was tampered with.
Then tweet me all the funny Kanye/Trump memes because I have a very morbid sense of humor.
