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Is My Friend Still Bisexual? A Handy Guide

Infographic by Elizabeth Feder

Bisexuals, they’re a confusing bunch. I mean, do they even exist? (Yes.) But we’re pretty sure they’re just confused, right? (No.)

I’ve been openly bisexual for the last four years now, but for three of those years, I was in a relationship with a man. Despite bisexuality meaning that someone is attracted to male and female folks, this confused a lot of people around me. When I became single again in February, I pretty much had to have a second coming out. Because I’d been with someone of the opposite sex for so long, many people had decided I’d “gone straight again.”

I should have been baffled by this, but it’s something I’ve had to deal with for a long time. Even though it’s right there in the LGBTQ+ umbrella, people of all sexualities and genders still don’t believe bisexuality is real.

I sort of get that bisexuality can be enigmatic — how do you know if someone is actually bisexual, and isn’t busy outgrowing a “silly phase,” experimenting like a 13-year-old, or just plain headstrong and won’t just choose?

That’s why I’m here as your friendly neighborhood bi to help you work out if someone you know is still bisexual: